8.22.2009

Positive Restructuring

... this is what we discussed in therapy today.

How talked about how to replace the negative thoughts and quieting my brain in order to replace them with positive uplifting thoughts.

When a negative thought starts to intrude my brain such as my revelation today that "maybe I'm not meant to be a mother because maybe God doesn't think I'll be able to care for or protect my children."

I'm supposed to replace that thought with something that is logical and true... such as... "Although I'm not pregnant yet, I know that it isn't hopeless in my quest to become a mother and that I know when I do become a mother I will be a great mother and influence on my children."

I went to therapy by myself today. Rick stayed home. Today's appointment was all about me. We touched on much more than infertility. We touched on some deep under laying issues many of which stem from long ago. Apparently, I'm much more sensitive than I ever thought I was. I harbor resentment and hurt from years ago and have never let those wounds heal which affect me still today. I had a lot to say when I first walked in. Not so much when I left. Just trying to take everything in. I felt better when I left. I talked about things I never thought about before. I talked about things that I've told very few people. She listened intently. Kindly.

When I left, she told me that I made some major progress. ..

6 comments:

Simple said...

Good for you - so proud you are talking to someone. I have been in therapy before (many times!) & I'm so glad I did it. Good luck with everything. :)

In Due Time said...

((Hugs))

It's great that you have someone to talk to, an outside party. I hope it continues to help you.

Infertility sucks, especially after years and years of trying. (TTC 5 yrs myself)

Lin said...

I firmly believe that almost all of us need therapy, but not enough of us actually get it. I'm actually off to find a new therapist in our new town very soon! Kudos to you for doing and making "major progress" today. I need to adopt the "replace negative thoughts with locigal ones" advice, too!

ICLW

WiseGuy said...

You know what...I am so glad that you are seeking therapy, and will be happier if something good comes out of all this.

I am so sorry for your IVF cycle's failure...this one is going to hurt long. I know. Have been there.

I read one of your previous post on how a subord got a royal fire-in-the-face from GP, and trust me, I would be loving it like hell too. I work in women-heavy department, and am all too aware of the croakings.


ICLW!

InfertileNaomi said...

I believe that we have to keep believing because hope is all we have.

Lucy said...

Sounds like you had a great appt!