... this is what we discussed in therapy today.
How talked about how to replace the negative thoughts and quieting my brain in order to replace them with positive uplifting thoughts.
When a negative thought starts to intrude my brain such as my revelation today that "maybe I'm not meant to be a mother because maybe God doesn't think I'll be able to care for or protect my children."
I'm supposed to replace that thought with something that is logical and true... such as... "Although I'm not pregnant yet, I know that it isn't hopeless in my quest to become a mother and that I know when I do become a mother I will be a great mother and influence on my children."
I went to therapy by myself today. Rick stayed home. Today's appointment was all about me. We touched on much more than infertility. We touched on some deep under laying issues many of which stem from long ago. Apparently, I'm much more sensitive than I ever thought I was. I harbor resentment and hurt from years ago and have never let those wounds heal which affect me still today. I had a lot to say when I first walked in. Not so much when I left. Just trying to take everything in. I felt better when I left. I talked about things I never thought about before. I talked about things that I've told very few people. She listened intently. Kindly.
When I left, she told me that I made some major progress. ..