No (good) words

Yesterday was our follow-up follie scan. If you remember I had 14 follicles just hanging out Tuesday. Friday only 5 worth a damn. 5... Oh! did I mention that my lining was only 3.9?

right: 14
left: 13, 12,11,8

After getting probed for the 76th time. I got dressed and walked across the hallway with Rick. We sat down in only what I can describe as the 'collection' room if you get my drift. Our nurse came in a started discussing our meds with us since I only had enough to get me through last night. She comes in and sits down and the tears start to roll. She tried to calm me down by telling me that it's still early and that there is still plenty of time. But that bullshit doesn't help me. I know that I am a bad patient when it comes to googling, but I read others blogs and I read statistics. I know that Rick and I have put everything that we have into this IVF, literally. We had to split the cost of our new meds onto 2 credit cards last night. Several of our credit card companies have closed our accounts recently without any notification. Just another great indication of our wonderful economy.

When her talking to me didn't help, Dr. P came in. He sat down to try and calm my fears. He said he isn't worried about our cycle at this time. My body need some more time to respond. Since I'm PCO they don't want to push it too much since I can explode at any time apparently. My E2 level went up quite nicely in a couple days but still has a ways to go, it sits at 196.22. I had a shitty day at work. And after the credit card fiasco last night I figured that maybe God was trying to tell us something. Rick and I discussed it and neither of us think the lesson is patience. But more and more I am thinking that the lesson might just be to have Faith. It's hard to lift everything up to God and let him handle it. So we are just going to go with the flow and let Him handle things.

Monday is our follow-up. Maybe we'll find out more then.

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Tonight is going to be a fun night for me. I get to go hang out and have dinner with my best girls. As life goes on, we don't have as much time to spend with each other. So we take what we can get these days. So, I'm off to take a short nap and then get ready for dinner at Bella's!