Things are changing

Hey everyone.

I'm sure most of you have forgotten about my little blog. But, I have not forgotten about you and your struggles. After our IVF failed last year, I lost it. I had only in can only call a mini mental breakdown. I was functioning but I wasn't really here. Not long after our failed IVF my beloved dog Quincy was diagnosed with cancer. I felt like everything was imploding around us. We tried to think of our next steps. We tried to get our act together. We tried. I tried. But I failed. Quincy became our top priority. He provided so much to us and we owed him everything. His love and companionship got me through days I would never wish on my worst enemy. Babies took the back burner. We needed a break. Mentally, physically, in everyway. So we just stopped. Everything.

It was the most welcome break we could have ever needed. I've been able to get my photography business back up and running. We've actually taken time for ourselves. We haven't been consumed. We've talked about things here and there. Do we really want to adopt? Maybe... Do we want to try IVF again? Maybe... Do we want to consider egg donation? Maybe... Maybe... Maybe...

Fast forward to June 2010...

Quincy fought a really hard battle. When he was diagnosed, the Vet Oncologist told us that he might make it 2-4 months. We did everything we could to prolong his life and keep him happy and comfortable. He fought so hard. But, we finally knew it was time to let him go several weeks ago. I know he didn't want to leave us but he knew it was time. He made it an astonishing 8.5 months from diagnosis. Our vet told us how strong Quincy was and how surprised everyone was that he was as active and 'healthy' as he was during that time. I miss my boy every day. But, I really feel like he was preparation for the future. I know it sounds silly, but you just have to trust you would have thought the same thing.

Fast forward to Thursday June 24, 2010...

We got a phone call around 8:30 from our sister in law. She sounded frantic. We really thought something was wrong even though she said it was nothing bad. She found out through a friend that there is a newborn baby boy born into a bad situation. Mother is 29 years old and he was her 6th baby. Mind you she has no parental rights for any of them. This sweet boy was born addicted to THC (marijuana)... sickening right? Yeah... I thought so. The father is an addict as well. Can't hold a job and is technically homeless. The offer was on the table for us to have an opportunity to adopt him. Rick and I were floored, shocked and overwhelmed. We got off the phone... Paced the floors... talked about our options and called our mothers. Everyone told us what an amazing gift this would be. We knew it would be a crap shoot going in and not sure how it would play out....

Friday, June 25, 2010...

The court date. Yes... 17 hours after the frantic firestorm of phone calls. We did not attend. But, the mother was stripped of her parental rights by the state. All but one of her children was both addicted to drugs. She has no hope of a future with this child. The state and court wanted to strip the father as well. But, the grandmother knew we were in the wings and she wanted to do what she could to prevent him from being put into state custody. She mentioned a private adoption in court and the judge gave the father 3 months to prove he could take care of the child and provide for him. She offered to house the baby for the next 3 months. She and her husband are older and don't want to raise another child. From what we have been told, the father likes the idea of having a child, but not the idea of actually parenting a child. No one thinks he will keep custody. We were told to prepare for the child. So we are.

We are preparing to become a family. We understand that this is still a crap shoot and the father could miraculously turn his life around in the next 90 days. But, we are hopeful. We are hopeful that even though we will miss 3 months of our son's life, he will end up coming home to us. The grandmother understands that we really want to keep this a 'closed' as possible. We were told to find an adoption attorney and to find out how everything would proceed.

So yeah. We are preparing. Things are changing. We have a name picked out. We've thought about his room. We're now nesting before really nesting.

Come the beginning of October... We might become a family of 3... God is good.

'If you can" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Mark 9:23

Amazing.