Infertility Counseling 101

I must first say that I highly recommend Infertility Counseling to any and all couples experiencing infertility. I know that I've felt more free since speaking to someone. But, what I enjoy most is the information that I get out of my husband. He talks more. He's more open. It's wonderful. For those few small things, I am grateful. I think that we understand each other a little better now. I think that he finally knows that I really value his thoughts and opinions. After all, this is our journey.

Rick and I are going to start going to RESOLVE meetings. They meet once a month, so our first meeting is this upcoming Wednesday. I'm excited yet nervous at the same time. I kind of envision this like an AA meeting. 'Hi, I'm Kerri and this is my husband, Rick... and I'm broken..." Then the whole crowd responds with "Hi Kerri."

Now that we've ventured into the world of donors, it's a conversation that we've touched a couple times but not completely yet. I've been researching donor eggs for months. I don't know why. I guess part of me has been preparing myself that this might be the route we go. I know that I've been a "poor responder" since we started our IUI's. And, I've always known that this journey would not be easy. It was one of the first things I told my husband about when we started talking about marriage when we were dating. He loves me anyway... :)

I've become a huge advocate of counseling in just the short amount of time we've been going. It's been a wonderful portal for both me and Rick. We've been able to talk about things that we might not have thought about. We've been able to voice concerns that we might not have been able to say to one another. As devastating a journey as it has been, I'm so proud and blessed that we've come through this stronger. We know that where ever our journey leads us, we'll go through it together.

Well, That Just F*cking Sucks...

Today was our WTF appointment with RE. Due to the way our IVF went, he doesn't recommend going through another one. He thinks that the quality of my eggs leaves A LOT to be desired. So, he recommends other options. Egg donation or Adoption.

While both sound great to most. Adoption is not on the table for us as a couple. At least not yet. We have nothing against it. We just don't feel like it is the right direction for us.

Egg donation however, is something totally different. This is something that we (at the moment) are OK with pursuing.

I delivered the news to my mom today, who understandably took it pretty hard. I'm right there with her. I've always thought about what it would be like to have my own baby. Right now, that thought isn't even really in my head at the moment. I know that miracles happen. So, Rick and I will keep doing what we're doing and maybe, just maybe, we'll get that miracle.